Kinoulton Villa 3 v 1 Noel Street Blues

Date: October 25th 2015

Venue: Gresham

Starting Line Up

Jeff Haywood


Simon Mottram

Colin Elliott

Simon Moore

David Walton

Tony Baldwin

Mark Wheeldon

Jim Gardner

Paul Skinner

Simon Thompson

Tom Clarke

Byron Burghart

Evan Moon

KVV Goal Scorers: Moore, Wheeldon, Thompson

Man of the Match: Gardner


Match Report

Another game, another victory for the seeming unstoppable Kinoulton Villa. Jeff Haywood proved his reputation as a ruthless tactician in the lead up to the game by reverting to a centre half pairing of Wol and Tony depsite the latter's stunning hat-trick in the last fixture. Whilst that might have proved to be a master stroke, his decision to leave Byron on the bench, even following his almost man of the match performance against Tanners, and play Tom Clarke instead was a gamble that failed beyond belief.


Haywood was also faced with a minor injury crisis as 2 of his regular defenders Doug and Ponytail suffered late injuries. Ponytail is expected to return fairly quickly but Doug has experienced a recurrence of the back injury that renders his right leg completely useless and uncontrollable. Apparently Doug has suffered with this rare condition for years and it can flare up at any point. Mostly on Sunday mornings. He also has a touch of sciatica.


Despite their tremendous winning streak, the Villa dressing room was a little quiet as the team prepared for the kick off. Rumours of the manager declining invitations for additional players were met with whispers about the presence of a mystery player amongst the ranks. With nobody seemingly willing to challenge the manager on what looked to be a new signing, the unknown youth was allowed to kit up without question. It wasn't until the majority of the team had departed the dressing room that Jeff asked the question: "does anybody know who the kid is who was getting changed"?!


The game, whilst somewhat lacklustre, was also not without incident. The returning Tommo was keen to make a quick impression on the match and it took him just under 0.8 seconds to go through one of the opposition midfielders rendering him semi-paralysed!


Noel Street looked like they could pose some sort of threat with their quick young attacking options but Wol and Tony were wise to all of the efforts that came their way with Colin and Simon Mottram neutralising any threat down the flanks. In the centre of midfield Jim, supported by Simon, was running the show combining well with Mark down the right hand side to create a few good early chances for Tommo and Skinner.


On the left hand side, it was a slightly different story. Tom appeared to be playing in slippers, falling over at almost every opportunity, with the touch of an elephant and the grace of an otter. Suffice to say, it wasn't Clarke's best ever game and he was removed at half time to be replaced by Byron. Clarke's performance did set a new precedent, however, when he became the first ever player to be fined for being shit. Suddenly Terry Linley's much anticipated return seems to be on hold once again.


Back in the match, Villa continued to press and took the lead after around 15 minutes when Simon slotted in from close range after the Noel St keeper failed to hold on to a typical Tommo blast. Stats later revealed that in over 7 seasons and around 50 goals, this was Simon's first ever successful effort with his left foot!


Villa should have been 2 up some 10 minutes later when Simon played a ball inside the Noel St defence for Tommo to rifle a shot into the net. There were cries for offside but the goal was given. That was until the linesman from the match taking place on the pitch adjacent to this game raised his flag and announced that he thought it was offside. The referee took his word for it and the goal was ruled out! Villa did eventually get a second when Skinner and Mark combined well with Mark finishing cooly into the corner of the net.


Noel St started to show a little bit of threat towards the end of the first half but a minor tactical change at half time soon cancelled this out and despite a couple of early chances, Jeffo was more than wise to their attacks and made a couple of good early saves. Beyond this, Villa were pretty much coasting. Tommo added a third and the game was pretty much over.


Jeffo almost gave them a lifeline with 10 minutes to go when he used his hands to control a deliberate backpass. Fortunately for him, the referee didn't know the laws of the game either and no free kick was awarded. So with Villa looking at a second clean sheet in as many games and Jeffo a stonewall banker for man of the match, Tony just couldn't bear the thought of all the gloating and in the dying seconds saw no other alternative than to catch the ball in the area giving Noel St a penalty. With Jeffo on such top form, many expected him to save it and in fairness he did dive the right way....about 7 seconds after the ball had hit the back of the net. Final Score Villa 3, Noel St 1.


Kinoulton Villa Vets

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