Kinoulton Villa 8 v 3 Hemmington

Date: November 22nd 2015

Venue: Hemmington

Starting Line Up

Jeff Haywood


Simon Mottram

David Walton

Jim Gardner

Evan Moon

Tony Baldwin

Simon Moore

Dean Hodges

Simon Thompson

Paul Skinner

Byron Burghart

Doug Jameson

John Fairbanks

KVV Goal Scorers: Moore (2), Thompson (2), Skinner, Burghart, Hodges, Gardner

Man of the Match: Gardner


Match Report

This was a match that proved just how much Villa have progressed over the past 18 months. Historically, games against Hemmington had always proved pretty even with either side capable of claiming victory. On this performance, the gulf is now pretty massive and despite being without a number of their more youthful squad members, Kinoulton were still able to run out convincing winners.


With both Wheeldon and Clarke missing, the latter still managing the indignity of a fine despite not being there, Haywood had to reshuffle his midfield. In came Jim to partner a very ill looking Deano, whilst Byron returned on the left hand side which left Simon in an unfamiliar (boring) position on the right. At the back, with first choice Colin out injured and his afforementioned deputy Clarke away on International Duty, Wol was employed at left back. Simon Mottram took the right full back position whilst the ever reliable partnership of Moon and Baldwin controlled the centre back positions. Tommo and Skinner formed the usual formiddable strike force up front.


Villa started the game in strong fashion creating several early chances with Tommo, Skinner, Jim and Simon all going close. Jim was conducting the midfield like an orchestra whilst his partner in central midfield, Deano, did absolutely nothing which was probably fair enough if he was feeling anything like as bad as he looked.


The opening goal came in bizarre circumstances when after a bit of a scramble of the edge of the Hemmington a wild shot from Moon looked to be heading wide only for it to hit the referee and bounce up in front of Simon who managed to shin the ball into the top corner. It was Moore again who doubled Villa's lead 5 minutes later in as equally strange happenings when his deep inswinging corner eluded all the dedenders and attackers and the Hemmington keeper could only palm it into his net to make it 2-0.


With Hemmington offering little other than a rather excitable centre forward, the 2-goal cushion urged Villa forward. Byron was running at his man with great determination and it was one of those runs and crosses that gave Villa their third when Skinner latched on to a hard and low cross to finish well at the near post. Tommo got himself on the score sheet just before the break to make it 4-0 at half time.


Haywood made a few tactical changes during the break with Jameson coming on at right back, John Ponytail replacing Evan, and Simon Mottram taking over from Wol at left back who himself replaced the player coach as goalkeeper. Many would argue that as a result of this change, Jeffo should be awarded a clean sheet bonus. By many, I mean Jeff of course. Sadly, events that will be described shortly were to put an end to that argument.


Villa added a further 2 goals early in the second half. Firstly, Byron scored his first ever goal in a Villa shirt with a cool finish cutting in from the left and then, somewhat amazingly, Deano scored his first goal in 17 seasons with a nice curry fuelled strike. At this point, Deano had clearly peaked but nobody could have predicted the indignity that his manager would subject him to. Clearly, Dean hadn't had his best game but to be then taken off and replaced by none other than the Kinoulton Villa head coach Jeff Haywood himself will have surely shattered his confidence beyond repair. Haywood meanwhile, became the oldest ever outfield player for Villa and decided to show leading scorer and goal machine Paul Skinner exactly how to do it by taking his place up front and pushing Paul out to the right.


Soon after this tactical wizardry, Hemmington pulled a goal back. Haywood, meanwhile, to give him his dues, was finally proving his credentials as a goalkeeper as he missed chance after chance after chance. Hemmington meanwhile were on the up. A great strike gave them their second and it was only time that they were up against at this point. Fortunately, Haywood's new strike partner Tommo was able to bring some calm to proceedings giving Villa a 7th goal after latching on to a nicely weighted lofted through ball. Jeff continued to try his best and at one point did actually get a shot on target only for the keeper to pull off (in Jeff's words) "a miracle save".


Hemmington hadn't given up though and they even got a third. Time was all but over by this point and when Skinner rose to meet a cross from the right and watch it head for the bottom corner only for greedy Gardner to nick a last touch, the game was over. As was Haywood's outfield playing career.


Final score 8-3.


Score up until Jeff came on up front: 6-0.


Score after Jeff came on up front: 2-3.


Kinoulton Villa Vets

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